Having another baby
We've since gone on to have two more babies. I can't tell you the turmoil of emotion which surrounded both their births. The birth of our baby boy a year and three months after Eliza died was glorious and magical. I LOVED IT ALL. It definitely helped that he was a boy but it didn't stop the grief: that continued on it's own predetermined path. The birth of our daughter was not nearly so euphoric for many different reasons and it's hard to know what was grief and what was other things. What I do know is that I found it incredibly hard that she wasn't Lizee. I remember saying so to some people and they looked at me blankly: like, 'derrrrr: of course she's not, she's Lotte...'. But I found it hard that Lotte didn't look like Eliza. It hurt me for several months. It's got easier now that Lotte's her own person with her own personality, but those early months were hard. Yes, it helps to have another baby, it eases some of the pain, but some of the bigger stuff: the fact you lost a person you loved with all your heart, goes nowhere. It softens with time but the fact of losing your daughter remains.