Other People
Dealing with other people is the strangest. People react so differently.
Friends and close family were definitely the best. Others tried the whole 'time's a healer' line, or the 'when are you having the next one?' clanger. Now I realise time is a healer, but hearing it then didn't help a jot! 'When are you having the next one?' hurt a lot. It makes no sense when all you can think about is where you're at, sitting with the one you've lost, not thinking about another baby, or another time.
The most amazing thing was the number of people who came forward and shared their own stories of losing children. Even close family and friends suddenly came forward with memories. It was wonderful to feel Lizee's coming and going had enabled some people to open up in ways they hadn't.
The only advice I can give is to try not to be angry with anyone. Very few people know how to deal with grief, least of all a baby dying. People are having to make it up as they go along, and the people who do reach out and say something, however they say it, are the brave ones who are doing the very best they can to connect with you in the way that they know how. Others say nothing at all.
Friends and close family were definitely the best. Others tried the whole 'time's a healer' line, or the 'when are you having the next one?' clanger. Now I realise time is a healer, but hearing it then didn't help a jot! 'When are you having the next one?' hurt a lot. It makes no sense when all you can think about is where you're at, sitting with the one you've lost, not thinking about another baby, or another time.
The most amazing thing was the number of people who came forward and shared their own stories of losing children. Even close family and friends suddenly came forward with memories. It was wonderful to feel Lizee's coming and going had enabled some people to open up in ways they hadn't.
The only advice I can give is to try not to be angry with anyone. Very few people know how to deal with grief, least of all a baby dying. People are having to make it up as they go along, and the people who do reach out and say something, however they say it, are the brave ones who are doing the very best they can to connect with you in the way that they know how. Others say nothing at all.